AS Father's Day was celebrated yesterday, men in Dar es Salaam Region have come forward to highlight a concerning rise in domestic violence from their partners, often exacerbated by their reluctance to report incidents to authorities due to shame and societal stigma.

Father's Day is annually observed to honour fathers' love and dedication in providing for their families.

In separate interviews, Brown Coaster, a resident of Kinondoni B, recounted his own experience of abuse, stating his wife would verbally and physically assault him with household items when his financial provisions fell short. 

A second-hand children's clothes vendor explained that the violence deeply affected his mental well-being, leading him to avoid home.

 "It got to a point where after my business, I would go to a local hangout spot and stay until 5pm. I knew by then she would be tired, without the energy to even throw a pot," he shared. He eventually returned home earlier for his children's sake, enduring the abuse. The situation only improved after he involved his wife's parents, who advised her to change or face the consequences, prompting her to cease the behaviour.

James Macha, a father of two from Tabata, though not a victim himself, frequently witnesses his neighbour's wife publicly humiliating him during arguments, often shouting insults for all to hear. Macha expressed frustration that despite advice to report the abuse to relevant uthorities, the neighbour views it as self-degrading. 

"Another reason we men hide our suffering is that there isn't a well-known men's advocacy group, unlike for women," Macha stated, urging the government to prioritize the issue. 

He added: "The problem is that we men are very ashamed to report because we feel like we'll appear weak, and society will perceive us differently. For example, should I go to the police and say my wife beats me? The police themselves might just dismiss me. So, there's that challenge."

Stuart Kallage, a Mbagala resident, suggested that some instances of men committing suicide are linked to severe psychological stress caused by violence from their partners. He advocated for the government to establish more confidential avenues for men to report abuse, ensuring that appropriate action can be taken.

Saldeen Kimangale, Clinical Psychologist with the Tanzania Health and Medical Education Foundation (TAHMEF), explained that men experiencing violence can suffer various psychological effects, including intense sadness, feelings of worthlessness, lack of self-confidence and an inability to fulfill their roles. They may also develop traits of isolation and emotional detachment.

Kimangale cautioned that many men remain silent due to shame, fear of being scorned and humiliation, leading to prolonged emotional suffering. If left unaddressed, this can escalate to severe stress, excessive alcohol consumption, frequent anger or even suicide.

To address this, Kimangale advises men in abusive situations to promptly remove themselves from the environment. He urged men facing the challenges to confide in trusted peers for support and stressed the need for counseling and psychological services for men to be as readily accessible as those for women. Additionally, he recommended engaging in positive activities like exercise and learning new skills to promote mental wellbeing.